Marriage help that doesn’t require a therapist’s office, a babysitter, or your spouse’s participation.
Twenty lessons, live video coaching calls twice a month, and me in your feed most days answering your specific questions about your own specific marriage. You can even use a fake name if you want; your call.
No sales call. No intake paperwork. No waiting list. You join, and you’re in tonight.
The three things you’re best at are the three things wrecking this.
Smart, accomplished people like yourself get stuck in their marriages for a reason that has nothing to do with being smart or capable. In fact, the qualities the world rewarded you for are the exact qualities that suffocate a relationship when you point them the wrong way.
You handle things.
You’ve untangled worse than this. Bad quarters. An ailing parent. A team coming apart at the seams. Finding agreement with your spouse on how to handle your kid’s IEP. So of course you’ll figure this one out too.
Except you’ve been figuring it out for three years, and the figuring is what’s eating you. You sleep worse. You have less patience for everyone. You snap at people who didn’t do anything. And somewhere in there you started feeling powerless in a way you never feel anywhere else in your life.
You’re right.
Your way of loading the dishwasher genuinely is more efficient. Your memory of what got said on Tuesday genuinely is more accurate. Probably.
The trouble is that being right, over and over and over, destroys partnership and replaces love with what feels like domination. And if you BOTH need to be right? Well… (Yes, I’ve been here myself. It ain’t pretty…)
You don’t quit.
Determination set you apart and helped you rise. It will also keep you down and white-knuckling the same pattern for another five years, because giving up feels worse to you than hurting does. And your sanity doesn’t have another five years of this.
Does any of this sound familiar?
None of that means your marriage is beyond fixing.
Maybe you went to counseling and it turned into a weekly, refereed argument, and after two months your partner said “no more”.
Maybe your partner won’t go at all. Flat out, not interested, end of discussion.
Maybe you read the books and did the exercises, and the advice was perfectly good for a couple with one problem, except you have three (or six…). Or maybe the person you saw was clearly knowledgeable and just as clearly had never lived a single day that looked like your Tuesday.
It just means you’ve been lacking the the three non-negotiable ingredients for success: the right skills, the necessary resources, and an appropriate map so find your way back to love..
Which, conveniently, is the entire thing I do.
Full disclosure: I didn’t build this because it was a clever business model. I built it because it’s what I needed and couldn’t find.
A one hour session is not a one hour session. It’s twenty minutes of driving there, an hour of talking (mostly the therapist listening or teaching), twenty minutes back, a tortured negotiation with your spouse’s calendar, and one babysitter. Call it three hours and $250, once a week, assuming nobody gets sick.
And then on Thursday something happens, and you have a question, and your next appointment is six days away.
So I built the thing I couldn’t find.
I’ve been coaching for nearly thirty years. Earlier in my career I led software development teams, was part of a few startups (including an IPO), and lived the middle-management grind. Then I did a full 180 and became a stay at home dad so my wife could keep her career while our two special needs kids got the attention they needed.
She’s an Ivy grad with a demanding job and chronic pain that started during her PhD research. Both of our sons are acutely neurodivergent. So I’ve done the IEPs, the school suspensions, the meltdowns, the difficulty making friends, the medication shortages, the year long waitlists for a therapist who takes new patients.
We’ve come through emergency deliveries, postpartum depression, mismatched libidos, real disagreements about parenting, layoffs, my mother’s long illness and eldercare, and then losing her. We’ve had our share of upsets, fights and ultimatums. Probably more than our share.
We still occasionally butt heads (because we are both extremely stubborn people. 🤣), but…
We’re still together. Still supportive. Still loving.
This is not a course. (There’s a course inside it. That’s a different thing.)
What you’re buying is access to me.
Me, in your feed, most days
Ask a question about your actual situation, in your actual words, and get an answer back from me. Not a chatbot. Not a moderator. Not a junior coach I hired to handle the overflow. Me.
Ask it at 11pm on a Sunday if that’s when your life allows. In fact, that’s the point.
Live coaching calls, twice a month
Not a lecture with ten minutes of questions bolted on the end, but roughly an hour just handling your questions and coaching you, LIVE. I work through people one at a time, for as long as we’ve got, while everyone else watches and quietly takes notes on the parts that sound exactly like their own house.
Camera-off is completely fine. A lot of the value is in the watching anyway.
Twenty lessons. Seven hours of video. And everything around them.
Every lesson also comes as audio only, for the car, gym or chores. A full written transcript, if you’d rather skim than watch. A one page summary, for when you need it again in March. A workbook for most of them.
And where it’s relevant, a separate booklet on how that lesson changes when ADHD is in the room. Because the truth is that it’s the invisible elephant in a lot of rooms because, hey, they’ve been pretty successful in life so far.
You can be anonymous
Pick whatever name you like when you sign up. Nobody needs to know you’re here, including the person in the next room.
It isn’t built on “one magic theory.
I’m not going to teach you attachment theory and call that a marriage plan. Same goes for non-violent communication. Same goes for Gottman. Those are all fine. They are also each one lens, and you have considerably more going on than one lens can hold. What I teach sits a level underneath all of it. Five things that are actually yours to control.
Decisions
What you decide, every day, before anything else in the marriage even gets a chance to happen.
Mindsets
What you’re willing to pick up, and what you’re finally willing to put down.
Skills
Self-mastery first: dissipating anger, summoning courage, getting yourself back to calm on purpose instead of by luck, and finally understanding what actually makes you (and that person you love) do the things you do. Then the outward ones: clear communication, influence, and actually resolving conflicts instead of just pausing until next time.
Resources
Time, energy and money. Either the things you need in order to work on this, or the things you’ve been blaming for your problems. Usually both. There are lessons on exactly this, because it’s the number one reason people stall out.
Habits
The small daily things that rebuild connection, trust and intimacy, in that order. Concrete, specific and measurable, so you can actually tell whether you’re getting anywhere.
Get those five moving and you strengthen the three things a marriage genuinely runs on: friendship, partnership and passion.
“But I’d be doing this by myself.”
For a marriage with long-running, chronic problems, 80 to 90 percent of turning it around is personal development. Yours.
Yes. And it works better than you’d expect. Most people who join do it alone, usually because their partner isn’t there yet, or has made it extremely clear they are not going to therapy.
Not “use I statements.” Way, way past that. Your mindsets. Your beliefs. The rules you didn’t know you were operating by. How you manage your own state when the same fight starts up for the two hundredth time.
Which means most of what’s inside here is work you can do without asking anybody’s permission or waiting for anybody to come around. And you will be better for having done it no matter what winds up happening with your marriage.
You WILL feel clear, confident and in control.
That last line isn’t a sales pitch. It’s the actual point.
“I’m not really a group person.”
Fair. Here is exactly how private this is.
- Register under any name you want. Nobody sees your real one.
- Camera off on the calls. Always fine, never remarked on.
- You can read for a month and never post a word. Plenty of people do.
- Nothing you write leaves the portal.
One on one work is the other option.
And if that’s still not for you, I understand, and one on one work is the other option. I’m not going to pretend there’s some third thing.
(I have a small number of spots available; click here for a discovery call)
What it costs, and what it’s replacing.
Weekly marriage counseling runs $200 to $350 a session in most of the places my clients live. Here is the same six months, side by side.
And that is before the driving, the childcare, and getting two calendars to agree forty-eight separate times.
That difference is not a discount, and it is not a smaller version of the work.
A large part of any counseling hour is teaching. Explaining the idea, walking you through the exercise, then explaining it again next week because a week is a long time and nobody took notes. That part is identical for every couple who hears it, and at $250 an hour it is a very expensive way to take a class.
So I recorded it once. Twenty lessons, on your schedule, rewindable, with a written summary for when you need it again in March. What is left over is the part that genuinely has to happen live: your situation, your questions, my actual attention. That is what the calls and the feed are for.
You are not paying less for less. You are paying less because the teaching only had to be done once.
THE ONE I’D PICK
$997
Works out to about $166 a month, and it’s the one I’d pick, because six months is roughly how long it takes to start feeling the needle move.
JOIN FOR SIX MONTHSOne therapy session costs about what a month of this costs. That’s the comparison I’d be making if I were you.
Who this is for, and who it honestly isn’t.
This is built for you if
- You’re capable and accomplished and stuck on the one thing you can’t org-chart your way out of
- You want the marriage to work. You’re not here looking for permission to leave
- Your partner is resistant to therapy, or you tried it and it didn’t take
- You have close to zero spare time and close to zero patience for fluff
And if ADHD is (or is suspected)to be part of your situation (you, your partner, or one of the kids) there’sa ton of specialized content for that exact situation. In fact, the whole program is designed to accommodate the ADHD mind.
This is not the right tool if
- There’s active addiction in the house
- There’s physical abuse. Please get real help right now, today, and not from a membership
- There’s emotional abuse
- Your partner genuinely cannot or will not either hold a job or take care of the home. That’s a different problem and this isn’t the fix for it
I’d rather tell you that here than take your money and have you find out in week three.
Hi. I’m Guy.
I’m a relationship coach for high achievers and the partners who love (and fight) with them. ;)
I do this because helping couples get through genuinely choppy water and find their way back to each other is the most fulfilling thing I do.
And because I know, first hand, what it is to be the kid of parents in a bad marriage, and to live through their contentious divorce. And because I also know, first hand, what it is to be inside a marriage that feels contentious and impossible and overwhelming. Even lonely, unsupported and unloved.
And because I also know what it feels like to come out the other side of that.
There are a lot of people calling themselves relationship experts, to say nothing of the actual licensed therapists.
Degrees and certifications mean something. They don’t mean everything.
Effectiveness
With all humility: I’m extremely good at getting frustrated, conflicted, thoroughly stuck people into action and using the tools that turn things around.
Empathy
I know exquisitely what it’s like to feel chronically hopeless,stuck and certain there’s no possibility here. And I also know what it’s like to break through that.
Master Coach, Robbins-Madanes Training · Divorce Prevention Specialist · Breakthrough Specialist · SYMBIS Facilitator, Drs Les and Leslie Parrott · NLP Master Practitioner, NLP Center of New York · Eriksonian Hypnosis · Head Coach, Landmark Education
The things people ask before they join.
Do I need my spouse to join?
Is this therapy?
What if I’m not sure we’re staying together?
How much time does this take?
Can I really be anonymous?
We already tried counseling and it made things worse. Why would this be different?
What actually happens on the live calls?
Am I locked into anything?
You’ve been thinking about this for a while.
If it’s been months (or years) of the same loop, over and over, then another month of thinking is probably not going to magically fix it it.
You can be inside tonight, ask me the question you’ve actually been carrying around, and have an answer from me before the week is out.
Got a question before you join? Ask me. That’s more or less the entire product.